how to make a relationship work guide

A couple in a relationship are always both contributing to making the relationship thrive and flourish.  If done properly, it won't even seem like work, but the most critical thing to keep in mind is that relationships grow and thrive only when both parties are involved. Relationships can't grow with the effort of only one partner - when that's the situation, count on seeing the relationship dissolve shortly.  Remember - it takes two to tango! The tips here will guide you in setting a good solid foundation for your relationship. 

The truth is the best way to go

How can a relationship last if the truth is used only when it's convenient? The emotional involvement crucial to a successful relationship cannot take place in an environment where one of the partners lies. The things you share with her make up a tapestry that represents not only your life, but your relationship together.  Each lie is like a big hole - which means that the relationship is weak and incomplete. A relationship's future is based on the quality of the foundation that's prepared for it.  If the foundation is made up of lies, then there's little hope for any future because the relationship will collapse the first time it's put to the test.

Relationships thrive on integrity

Integrity is trustworthiness.  Of course, when you lie you damage your integrity, but you also hurt it when you make commitments and don't live up to them. Your integrity is reflected in your actions every day, and how those actions match your words.  Don't think that just attending to the major commitments you make will convince people you've got integrity.  If you display poor integrity in minor issues, sooner or later you're going to jeopardize the relationship because she's going to wonder if you can be trusted with something as important as her heart. The trust that's so important to a relationship doesn't just spring up - it's nurtured by your constant attention to keeping your commitments large and small.  As you keep on doing this as time goes on, she will trust you more and more and you'll grow ever closer.

Attend to her feelings

Your relationship will grow faster and better if you take the time to pay attention to her when she's talking. When she's talking to you, it's because she wants you to know something.  How will you learn it if you gaze at her and nod your head without actually processing what she's saying, and thinking about it? She may be upset about what she's telling you, but don't get excited - remain calm, but if it's appropriate, comfort her.

Keep your temper under control

Fights and arguments arise when there are differences between you.  It's up to you whether your going to use these as chances to settle your differences and grow stronger, or defeat her no matter what just to prove that you're better than she is, and that you're always right.  That's a good way to get her to start looking for someone who doesn't need win every disagreement. If the most essential thing for you is to win the argument no matter what, you're sacrificing your relationship together for the short-term feeling of victory after winning an argument. A better approach is to concentrate on recognizing and resolving the problems that caused the argument, which will make the relationship stronger and enhance your self esteem.

One final thing: it may seem trite, but tell her you love her.  Tell her often, and while you're at it, tell her how beautiful she is - especially after she's spent a lot of time making herself look just right to go out somewhere with you.  Make sure she always knows that she's loved and she'll never want to risk that love by walking out!